Hello, my old [friends] – how have you been? (If you like my play on of The Oh Hellos’ song, then that’s probs why we are friends.)
It has been 8 months since my last post, so I feel a bit obligated to update y’all on what little ol’ Diem have been up to in the past eight months. Actually, I feel obligated to update myself on what I’ve been doing in the past eight months because I haven’t sat down and processed my thoughts and feelings in a long time. I told myself to take it day by day, and boy, did they go by.
Eight months ago, I started talking to this boy who lived roughly 2 hours from me. After years of talking to guys in my area, I felt like I dated my whole city at that point. Boy drove roughly 2 hours to pick me up for our first date. As I walked to his car, he stepped out wearing a denim jacket. I thought, “This date cannot be bad!”
I, too, was wearing a denim jacket.
And, I was right. We had a cute time.
For a month, we drove roughly 2 hours to see each other. When it was my turn to visit, I changed out of my scrubs after work and started my drive through traffic. On my way, I drove through Touro University – where I knew that I was about half way to my destination. Every time I went over the steep ramp in Vallejo where the two lanes merges into one, I felt a bit guilty for not being at home writing my personal statement for Touro’s app instead. I have been (still am) eyeing Touro since undergrad, but my fear of rejection definitely weighted on me.
Long story short, Boy ghosted on me and to my surprise, I wasn’t fazed. Rejection didn’t hurt because what we had wasn’t real (obvi).
“I want to be hurt by something real rather than imaginary. If I am going to be sad and cry, then I want the tears to derive from something that matters/ that is worth it.”
I decided it was time to work on something (or in this case, someone) real – me. At the last possible minute, I wrote and submitted my one app to grad school.
“If I get rejected, then at least my efforts went into something/someone who matters to me. At least, I tried. I’ll be okay.”
Soon after, I got an interview and within the same day, I got accepted.
I resigned from my job. I moved out to live with 6 strangers. I got assigned to a lab, and on my way to lab, I drove through Boy’s place.
Life is funny. Maybe life knew that I was going to go to Touro and work along that route? The route that I took for a month. All of those drives acted as practice, so much so that I didn’t have to use my GPS.
Since my acceptance, I’ve been working really hard on my education/future (hence, the lack of posts – both domain + IG). Never in my life have I felt so challenged. From being in a new place to learning the inner workings of my brain, I have tapped into a weird place in the realms of critical thinking. It has been supes fun exploring my mind though. I learned that your gal is quite odd.
During my first semester, I also learned:
- how to write again (which makes blogging v difficult)
- the importance of asking for help (which keeps me humble)
- that Hero Cosmetics’ Mighty Patch is my best friend
- to channel my creative energy into cooking because I didn’t have time to shoot (don’t worry – this won’t become a cooking blog)
- that days in are as important as (if not more than) days out
- to overcome my anxiety of going to Costco without my parents
- that I’m stronger than I thought I was/am
- how to grocery shop for one person (by buying a medium-sized clam chowder from Whole Foods as my lunch and dinner)
- that beer and wine aren’t bad (def miss a good cocktail though)
- how to put Ikea furniture together
- that I’m truly in my field for the right reasons
- how to construct better conversations with my lyft drivers (basic people skills?)
- not to push down to the second stop on a pipette
- that DoorDash is freakin amazing, esp because I live far from everything
- how to type equations into excel (I make excel spreadsheets for everything now…)
- that vegan pizza is not v good (please send recs if you disagree!! ps. I’m not vegan; I just cannot have cheese, which makes me sad 😦 )
- that I am a bad plant mom (cannot call myself a hip millennial if I can’t keep my succulent from dying)
- that SF boys are v hard to date (~may elaborate in a future post~)
- how to use presenter mode on PowerPoint (and how to manage lab meeting anxiety)
- that less is more (like how I should suck up less supernatant when culturing cells to avoid sucking up my cells and how I still look pretty hot with less makeup on)
- how to practice self-love/self-care beyond Lush’s baths (my bathroom doesn’t have a bathtub)
- that I am not perfect – instead, I’m something else 🙂
Tomorrow is the beginning of the next/last semester of this program. V ready for my next set of lessons!